What dating down looks like is a topic from my third book, “Patterns of the Heart: Discernment in Choosing a Potential Spouse.” Dating down is when you know someone isn’t an appropriate fit for you—yet you continue to date them anyway.
This signals an issue yet to be resolved within you. Self-awareness, which leads to personal responsibility, is key in this scenario.
“A person who is full refuses honey, but even bitter food tastes sweet to the hungry.” – Proverbs 27:7 (NLT)
The full person sees that he has a choice in whether or not to accept what comes along; the hungry person will accept anything, whether it’s savory or not. Even though he knows his choice may not be good for him, he sees it as a way to satisfy his hunger in the moment.
Take Personal Responsibility in Accessing Your Needs to Avoid Dating Down
What needs have we allowed to go unmet in healthy ways where we use dating down—an unhealthy coping mechanism to fill? Could there be lies within our minds that we are seeking to overcome? I loved Nona Jones’ book, “The Gift of Rejection.” It shared how there can be a talk track playing over and over in our head that we are trying to disprove or unconsciously live up to.
